It Was You I Despised
by YourRhineStoneEyes
Summary: Grell did everything for his Madam Red including break every rule ever set for Gods of Death. He loved her as much as a dead man could, but he still couldn't help but hold feelings of hatred towards his love.


Love was a hilarious thing in Grell's opinion; he never found himself to be one to truly love. He hadn't truly loved another being ever since his death all of those years ago, oh what sad times those had been...

He found himself loving her though, he loved her and he despised her all at once. His beautiful Madam Red; the woman he had met in the darkened streets of London, the woman he had come across all covered in blood. She had been so scared of him when they had first met that was until he told her he could make her darkest dreams come to life, she didn't trust him until he had pulled her into his arms and kissed her with a burning passion the woman had spent her life longing for. He promised to give her everything, to serve her with full dedication, and he asked nothing in return other than her dedication and her love. To ask love of such a woman as the Madam, his Madam was a difficult thing to request. Days like today it was hard to love his darling, his Madam Red.

"I despise this color, I always have." She yelled as she pulled another dress from her wardrobe tossing it across her bedroom.

A pile of red colored dresses lay scattered across the bedroom floor. Grell stood silently off to the side knowing quite well the anger of his lady, times like these he had trouble fully understanding her; yet this rage, this beautiful flaming rage was one of the things that had drawn him to her side. It was the reason that she could slay so many beautiful women without a bit of regret, this rage was one of the reasons he would pull her into his arms after a killing spree, and this rage was a reason that he sometimes feared his love.

The woman turned on him, her dark eyes burned with hatred. He felt his muscles tense as she approached him, she pushed the Reaper hard against the wall.

"I hate this color, I hate it; it had brought me nothing but pain and loneliness." She whispered harshly, she grabbed hold of the man's long red hair pulling hard enough to cause him to groan in pain.

Oh but how could she be lonely when he was by her side?

"You have me, my lady."

There were moments where he felt timid with her, he knew at any moment he could slay his Madam Red and walk away from this all. Yet here he stood pressed back against the wall allowing her to lash out at him. It made him recall the love he had felt back when he had been alive, oh how pathetic love could make one be.

Madam Red laughed and he felt a pain in his deadened heart at the sound of it, the cruelty of it. She smacked him hard across the face.

"Yes you, a...A thing, a miserable thing that feeds off of my pain. You don't care for me, how could you? You're nothing to me, I don't need you."

Her words cut like a knife, cut the way her blade cut through the stomachs of her victims.

"I ask nothing of you my lady."

"You are nothing but a reminder of what I hate most." She grabbed onto the lapels of his jacket pulling him away from the wall then shoving him to the floor.

He looked up at her, to be tossed around by a mere mortal it was shameful. He knew that one day their game would end, one day he would slay his lady; he would slay her the way he should have slain the man he had loved in his mortal life.

She looked down at him with such disgust; he attempted to stand but the toe of her boot connected with his stomach knocking him back onto the ground. She gave another hard kick to his side; the reaper curled up on his side burying his face against the carpet. He listened to her crying and her yells of anger and desperation.

"I hate you!"

"You worthless being, you demonic creature!"

He despised her in these moments, he pictured her bleeding on the ground at his feet in these moments. He wanted to be bathed in her blood, but all at once he wanted to cradle her in his arms and sing her a lullaby, to soothe her aching soul. It pained him to know he loved a woman he hated so much, he loved her for all of the reasons that he hated her.

"Bastard, worthless...Bastard...Oh Grell"

Fingers ran gently through his hair, she pulled the Reaper up so that his head was resting on her lap. He looked up at her, tears rolled down her pale cheeks, and her lower lip trembled. He reached out caressing her cheek wiping away her tears, she leaned into the red haired man's touch.

"Shh it's okay my lady, my beautiful lady in red."

Grell sat up, he pulled her to him wrapping his arms firmly around her small waist. She pressed her face to his chest and cried freely and without abandon.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean those awful things; you know that I didn't." She said pulling her head back to look up at her angel of death.

He smiled sweetly down at her as he wiped more tears from her cheeks.

"I know, you just lose your head from time to time; it's quite alright darling, I shall never leave your side."

Such lies one could tell, could she see through him?

Could she see that some part of him was truly dead to such human emotions? Could she see that to some extent her tears meant nothing to him, that he felt she hardly deserved his desires and love.

"Such lies Grell, I love you none the less." She whispered smiling weakly.

"I love you too my beautiful lady."

The words caused an aching in his chest, a long dead organ beat so frantically for this woman so filled with lunacy. He lightly ran his index finger across her lower lip, he could feel her shiver at his touch. Her fingers tangled in his hair, she looked up at him with so much compassion that it hurt him to the core. He leaned down kissing her, her warmth was something powerful to him; he held her as closely as he possibly could. He kissed her with as much passion as he possibly could, he wanted her to feel his pain the same that he felt hers. He broke from their kiss, he picked her up holding her in his arms bridal style and carried her over to the bed. He lay her down on the red satin sheets; no matter how much she hated the color she still surrounded herself with it, surrounded herself with constant reminders of misery including the God who loved her so dearly.

He crawled on top of his lady, he took hold of her wrists pinning them above her head; he could hear her heart pounding frantically against her chest. He leaned down kissing her gently, a small moan left her parted lips at the feel of him atop her; he kissed along her jawline then down her throat. His hands moved from her wrists down to her breasts, down along her sides. He moved back to her lips kissing her passionately as he began to undo the buttons of her vest followed by the buttons of the top beneath of it, her own fingers did quick unsteady work of unfastening and removing his own clothing. He couldn't help but laugh as she fumbled with the buttons of his dress shirt, she blushed and whispered for him to shut up. Grell sat back on the bed watching as his Madam got up and stood at the end of the bed, he watched with deep fascination as she slowly slid out of her dress. He had seen the way she was with other men, so dominating and bold, but with her God of Death she was so shy and insecure. The dress pooled down around her feet, his eyes wandered hungrily over her body; she untied the laces of her corset allowing the article to drop to the floor leaving her in nothing but her stockings and panties. The red haired woman crawled onto the bed, crawling atop her lover; she kissed him hard and he moaned into it. Her hands explored his torso, her fingers tracing over his chest then down along his stomach. Her hands wandered farther down going towards his crotch, his eyes locked on hers. He pushed the woman back against the mattress, she gasped taken by surprise by the sudden change of positions; her dark eyes looked over his form. He kissed along her neck, her collar bones, and along her breasts. He loved the feel of her skin, the taste of her pain and urgency, her moans were a beautiful lullaby to his ears.

"My beautiful lady" He whispered against her ear, his right hand travelling down between her legs.

He pressed his hand against her, feeling how aroused she was for him; the woman beneath him gasped.

"Grell tell me that you want me."

He tilted his head to the side as he looked down at her, so sad; she looked so sad, so desperate to be loved. He understood and shared all of her pain, he wanted to take it in.

"Such an odd question"

"Please just say it"

He slipped his fingers under the material separating him from her warm flesh, he slid his index and middle fingers between the lips of her vagina and pressed against her clit arousing another moan from the woman beneath him.

"Please"

"I need you, I need you and only you my Madam."

She smiled shyly up at her Reaper, he kissed her gently.

He removed his own trousers and her panties leaving the both of them completely nude. She hooked her legs around his back pulling him against her; he slowly pushed inside of her hanging onto each beautiful moan. Her song of passion was such a beautiful one, he kissed and licked at every inch of flesh in his reach as he thrust inside of her. Her fingers tangled in his long hair, her face pressed against the crook of his neck; he loved the way she would try and suppress her moans of ecstasy. He loved nothing more than to be inside of her, to feel her heat; to know he could bring his tragic mess of a woman so much pleasure. He wondered if it would be this warm and intimate when the day came that he would finally slay his love.

"Grell, oh Grell...Please never leave my side."

"I promise, my love" He whispered against her ear.

Another thrust and another loud moan, her body writhed and tensed as she drew closer to her end. His fingers worked against her urging her to climax for him, needing to hear his name fall from those red painted lips of hers; to hear his name be called out like a loud and desperate prayer. He was her angel, her God come to save her and make all of her darkened dreams come to life. He was the toy here for her abuse and her affection; he was her lover and her butler when needed be, and one day he would be her murderer.

He bit into her neck as he came inside of her, he worked her faster until he could feel her coming around him; he closed his eyes sighing at the feeling. He removed himself from her and lay by his lady's side; she curled up against him resting her head upon his chest. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders holding her to him.

"I love you my Madam Red"

"I love you too my Angel of Death"

Yes he loved her and he despised her all the same.

In just three months time Madam Red was discovered along with Grell; it was a shame that the game had to end. When his death scythe sliced through her soft flesh, pierced the body he had caressed many times he did feel pleasure. He felt a satisfaction being bathed in the blood of the woman he had once loved so dearly, but quickly had grown so bored of. The feeling was not as intimate as he had hoped, seeing her lying on the ground blanketed in her own blood; her cinematic record had been such a sad story. He felt something die along with her, he had grown bored of his Madam Red. He had loved her once, but he had despised her so much. He didn't even care enough to cry after he had slain his Madam, his Lady, and his love. He simply moved on like she was nothing more than a distant memory to him.

Some days though he feels the loneliness of being without his Madam Red, but the moments are fleeting. After all what is pure love to a man with a deadened heart?


End file.
